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| Mallory Gonia, Senior Year |
is not one single occurrence where either of my parents negatively commented on the appearance of my body or weight growing even during a period of my adolescent years when I was overweight. My Mom and Dad always made me feel loved and told me I was beautiful every day.
My fiancé was not as
lucky. Instead of building my fiancé’s confidence, his father broke down any self-confidence he had.
Instead of being told he was handsome, he was told he was fat and ugly.
Somehow even with
drastically different upbringings, as teenagers we lacked body confidence and
WE both developed eating disorders. Now as an adult no longer being in that
negative environment my fiancé has a positive body image and his
self-confidence is much higher. I will admit for myself I still struggle with
my body image from time to time, but overall I am more confident and much
happier.
Research shows that a
negative body image is the most influential factor to the development of eating
disorders, specifically anorexia and bulimia. In some cases there may be
obvious factors that contribute to teens having a disordered or negative body
image, potentially leading to eating disorders, such as bullying in school
and/or online or negative body comments made by parents, caregivers or other
family members. For me growing up I was never bullied for being overweight. Based
on my history, there would seem to be absolutely no reason for me to have
developed an eating disorder, but I still did.
Parental behavior can
have a huge impact on children’s body image. Even parents like mine who never
put pressure on me regarding my own weight, may be unintentionally contributing
to a disordered body image in their children.
I can’t even count how
many times my Mother had a wardrobe malfunction before events because she
looked “fat” in all her clothes. At all family gatherings, to this day, there
are always conversations around weight loss, body image and dieting. At these
events there is always one or more relatives who can’t eat the dessert because
he/she is on a “diet”. In 10th grade I began playing school sports. Naturally,
without trying, I lost a significant amount of weight that year. Family started
noticing and I was told how great I looked and how skinny I was. There were
never any comments complementing me on eating healthy and exercising to better
my health, just on my physical appearance. These family dynamics had a huge
impact on how I saw my own body and what food choices I made. I began to really
focus on how my clothes looked on me and became overly conscious about eating
healthy so I could maintain this weight loss.
With social media, the pressure on children to look a certain way is high. This makes it very important to foster body positivity starting from a young age. Pre-teens and teens who already have a positive body image may be more prepared to handle the stress and pressure of growing up in today’s social media centered world.
I believe the first step to fostering a positive body image begins in the home. According to the National Eating Disorders Association, 40-60% of girls age 6-12 are concerned with their weight and becoming fat. Parents are typically the most influential adults in children’s lives at this age. One important thing parents can do to encourage body positivity in their children is by having body confidence themselves. Parents lead by example and should be mindful of the way they talk about weight, self-appearance and food. As parents and caretakers, I encourage you to:
- Promote a balanced diet in response to body hunger,
- Not use food as a reward or punishment, and
- Tell your child(ren) that weight does not define happiness.
Every one of us has something we can thank our bodies
for and at some point in our lives we may take our bodies for granted. Teach
children to love their bodies for what they do and not for what they look like. This is something I wish I could have done at 15.
Mallory Gonia
Public Health Nutrition Educator
Division of Health Planning and Promotion
